By Arnold Jansen op de Haar

not a declaration of intent

don’t think you’ve got more to
say than anyone else
but put it differently
(everything has been said before)

contradict mostly
yourself   this is
very refreshing

avoid humour if
you’re not very funny
during daytime too

be a man (m/f)
be not too pc
don’t sign petitions
never become a city poet
unless starving

and do not join any group
unless it’s a motor club
or a football club
well   you know
what I mean

don’t write about
international news because
you’ve seen something on tv

unless you for example
have family in the gaza strip
or are jewish or arab

start a polemic with no other
but yourself

don’t commit suicide
too early

and if you do do it
write first
a really fabulous poem
so that the people at home
can benefit too

study every word
and all classical forms

avoid the urge to rhyme
and break your own rules

don’t write poems about
colleagues
just buy their collections

bask in reflected glory
of yourself only

when reciting don’t wreck
your own rhythm

walk down the street
hit your beat
and check if you’re still
walking with a normal gait

(I’m not now)

try for once writing
in iambic pentameter

and pay attention
a poem is not
a story!

write prose instead
it too is an accepted
literary form you know

when giving a reading
never make your introduction
longer than your poem

if your poem is good enough
do away with the introduction
completely

make sure your breathing is not
heard   unless it’s not
your fault
you’re asthmatic for example

when reading don’t write
with your fingers
in the air

and don’t like the taste of
your own words as if
they’re wonderful boiled sweets

don’t drink more than two
glasses of wine when writing
or giving a reading

even if you’re in the
local library
or at a remembrance
of the dead

in any case don’t make
in public
a too inebriated impression

avoid mannerisms
use as few as possible
diminutives

an odd hairdo is always possible
just like that fluorescent jacket/that dress
and your too showy glasses

and don’t sigh so much

don’t use numbering
in your poem
in any case don’t
read out the numbering
and rather avoid writing sequences

think in lines

and occasionally in white

don’t make your poem
a declaration of intent

don’t say you’ve
written it
in ten minutes

and for heaven’s sake
don’t submit it
as a poem

consequently don’t add it
to your collection
it doesn’t fit in with
the other poems at all

reject it yourself
by a wonderful letter

in any case your name will be
spelled correctly

much success
and love

© Arnold Jansen op de Haar
© Translation Holland Park Press

Arnold Jansen op de Haar wrote Not a Declaration of Intent, a poem about writing and reading poetry, to celebrate Dutch Poetry Week 2015.