By Arnold Jansen op de Haar

I rather pity the Higgs boson. As far as I understand it, this particle flies back and forth like a madman but no one can see it. The most it amounts to is a spike in the ‘background noise’.

It seemed close to being ‘discovered’ but it’s still not certain it actually exists, and if it is discovered it will only raise more questions, for example about gravity.

At this point a TV programme calls in an expert. Luckily the expert turned out to be Robbert Dijkgraaf, president of the Dutch Academy of Science. You could follow his explanation. According to Dijkgraaf it may be some time before they find conclusive evidence.

It strikes me that we get to hear from fewer experts the more complex the subject; I mean the same person pops up everywhere. Meanwhile, the expert who was most closely involved is probably watching at home on the sofa.

The sciences form a black hole in my knowledge. When sitting my A level in Mathematics, I didn’t even bother to look at the integral calculus questions. It’s good to know what you don’t understand.

Actually, another black hole concerns flora and fauna. I do love nature, but I can’t distinguish between different types of tree or tell a godwit from a grebe.

In a pub quiz it’s best to team me up with a biologist and physicist to maximise the chance of winning. The strangest things are lodged in my brain, such as the fact that people didn’t start reading in silence until the early Middle Ages. Prior to this everyone read aloud. The growing influence of monastic life encouraged reading in silence, because the monks didn’t want to disturb each other in the scriptorium. It’s quite useless information, but still nice to know. (I can also whistle the theme tunes of the TV series Dallas and Dynasty, plus at least six national anthems.)

Something odd is happening: the world is becoming more and more complex, yet in the media they keep enlisting the man in the street to sit on panels to gauge opinions. This makes me itch and it’s why I don’t believe in referendums; only politicians who are at a loss what to do call a referendum.

Interviewing passers-by in the street is a popular item in the media. ‘Should Greece stay in the euro?’ No one ever answers like this: ‘Sorry, I know more about breeding pigeons.’

Gerdi Verbeet, the chairman of the Second Chamber of the Dutch Parliament, even managed to suggest that chamber membership should reflect society. So according to the chairman there is a need for more less-educated members. This doesn’t bear thinking about; you’ve already been watching the average man or woman on TV all evening, only to encounter them in parliament as well.

You’re astonished to see your local bike repairer on the benches as defence expert, next to a hooligan looking after sport. The chairman says, ‘It’s now Aunt Jane’s turn to ask the Finance Minister a few questions about the euro crisis.’

I get the impression that members of the House of Commons are just a bit less ordinary than their Dutch colleagues, but maybe that’s because in Britain they represent a constituency.

I occasionally can’t help thinking that one half of humanity seems to become more stupid as the other half gets cleverer. This maintains the average intelligence level, but society grows more complex and science advances. Politics is where this shows up first. The gulf isn’t between politicians and citizens, but between politicians and knowledge.

I’m going to celebrate Christmas with a few lovely elementary particles, also known as family. In addition, for the last few weeks an enormous spike has been showing up in my background noise: a spectacular elementary particle. It’s a first-rate cliffhanger. Merry Christmas!

© Arnold Jansen op de Haar
© Translation Holland Park Press

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