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Dutch writers and readers celebrate Gedichtendag (National Poetry Day) on Thursday 27 January 2011.

This week I nearly attended a meeting. Luckily I spotted in time that I should have registered in advance. So I didn’t have to go! After reading the attachment, it transpired it wasn’t even a proper meeting. In fact it turned out to be an ‘inspirational get together’ to reflect upon ‘providing a cultural offering to people in care’.

The mayor of Moerdijk, a Dutch council, announced that he will resign this summer after 2.5 years in the job, even though he had been appointed for a six year period. Continuing to work past his 65th birthday apparently would reduce his monthly pension by 1000 euros. He had only just made this announcement when a large local chemical factory burned down to the ground. You could conclude: it is time to pay.

On Friday I read an article about England winning The Ashes. It was the first win in Australia in 24 years. England secured victory with ‘an innings and 83 runs’. Since 1882, the Ashes is a test cricket series that takes place between England and Australia. Actually this is one of the big differences between England and The Netherlands: the importance of cricket.

I spent Christmas in Flemish Bruges. I had plenty of time to think back to events in 2010. This is the question that hasn’t been asked: why would a beautiful, intelligent young woman aspire to be a Bavaria babe?

All columns published since 1st October 2009

I am always exactly on time. We used to call this ‘military punctuality’. After all, I have served in the army. ‘Synchronise watches’ before a major operation has been drummed into me; in civilian life, being on time means being too early. No one expects you to be on time. The exception is the zeitgeist; you have to be in tune. For this, I hesitate to admit, I am usually too late or too early.

You have probably heard that Edinburgh recently experienced some very extreme winter weather. At one point they had to close the Edinburgh to Glasgow motorway and later on I found out that a sausages shortage had begun to loom large. Yet my publisher and I arrived in the Scottish capital by a straightforward train journey. The next day I was due to perform at The National Galleries.

The American Santa Claus lives on the North Pole and it is often assumed that the British Father Christmas lives in Korvatunturi, Lapland. His Finnish name is Joulupukki. There is also a Mrs Claus and an indeterminable number of elves. He owns eight or nine flying reindeers. Yet Santa Claus, as well as Father Christmas, is of Dutch descent.

Video of A Poet’s Life – a unique portrait of a writer at work

Your chance to get your short story published. The competition ended on 31 December 2010.

All columns published since 1st October 2009

Over the past months there has been another widespread slaughter of turkeys in the United States but President Obama has pardoned two turkeys for Thanksgiving. This is an American tradition started by George H.W. Bush; rather depressing when, for example, you are on death row but great for the two turkeys.

Elton John was christened Reginald Kenneth Dwight but changed his name to Elton Hercules John. A short, overweight man who chooses the name ‘Hercules’, I find this touching. I consider going by the name of Arnold ‘Hercules’ Jansen op de Haar from now on.

I wore them   yes   combat boots
you didn’t know   you said
what do you know
forget the rhyme and reason
of your suspicious thoughts
think when you see combat boots
of me   of me alone

Last Thursday I travelled by train from London back to The Netherlands. The advantage of travelling alone is that you can’t help but overhear conversations. On the Eurostar a man was talking into his phone. He was in high spirits. ‘We are on Channel 4 this evening,’ he said, ‘unfortunately I can’t be there.’ Afterwards he made another call. ‘I don’t think we should use the word nuclear tonight…’ He stopped, looked at me and left the carriage.

Short Story Competition – Closed

Young women can now freeze their ovaries so that they can be used by the time they are around forty, according to Dr Sherman Silber from the fertility clinic in St Louis, Missouri. ‘Trick or treat?’ as children would say when travelling from house to house at Halloween.

All columns published since 1st October 2009

Last week, Nick Robinson, BBC’s political editor, was a hit on YouTube. After he finished his report in front of the TV camera, he turned around. For some time, a demonstrator with a banner saying: ‘Cut the war, not the poor’ had stood behind him.