Sir, I'm arresting you for being sober in the street on a Saturday evening and for failing to cause a disturbance.
But, I - I - no, you're right, I haven't had a drink. I thought that was the correct way to behave.
Let's leave out the witty banter, sir, if you please. You're clearly sober and I did notice, if you'll pardon my saying so, sir, that you have not urinated in a public place nor have you displayed your bare backside to public view.
No, I most definitely have not.
With respect, sir, it's not something to be proud of. Just step this way, if you please.
Where are we going, officer?
Into the squad car, sir, if you'd be so kind. We can't have you loose on the street completely sober, now can we? What sort of example would that be to other young people?
What? Look, why don't you arrest that lout outside the chip shop? He's obviously drunk.
He is conforming to British Behavioural Norms, sir. By throwing up on the pavement, he's demonstrating that his conduct conforms to that expected at night in a British town centre - BBN sir - British Behavioural Norms, unlike yourself unfortunately.
That's absurd! Let me out of this car now, you low-life pig!
Ah, that's much more like it, sir, now you're starting to see reason.
Don't patronise me, you pork scratching!
Well now, in view of your change of manner, sir, I can release you with a verbal warning. Why not have a few drinks and try to fit in with other people? Good evening to you.Any comments? You can leave them on our forum.
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